Studying Vampires through the realm of Psychology
If you have ever watched the show, “What we do in the shadows,” You will meet the energy vampire, Collin Robinson. He epitomizes the character of these types of people in a dark humorous way. It is not fun to be hooked in by one of these in real life. As with blood-sucking vampires, most energy vampires can’t steal your energy if you don’t invite them to. You have free will. You have a choice as to how much time and energy to spend with and give other people. You can and should set limits and boundaries because, at the end of the day, you’re always at a disadvantage if you let others suck the life out of you.
Superiority is the name of the game for dominator vampires. These people love to be in control and intimidate their victims. Often, dominator vampires have a number of insecurities around being hurt, wronged, or weakened by others, so they try to conceal the emotional trauma by dominating/taking control of others. Generally, this type of vampire has rigid opinions and cynical perceptions of life, which may make them discriminatory and prejudiced.
Judgmental vampires love to bully other people, but zoom in a little closer and you’ll see their own shattered self-worth. They feed their ego by highlighting and making fun of your insecurities until you feel pathetic and small. Basically, judgmental vampires treat others just how they treat themselves.
If there was an energy vampire Oscars, the melodramatic vampire would take home the award for best actor. As implied by the name, melodramatic vampires have the need to create drama, mainly because they need to feed the void they feel inside. They love a crisis and being involved in problematic situations. They thrive on being victimized and therefore are in need of attention and love. Your energy will be drained when you get sucked into the drama they create.
We’re all aware of people who are narcissists — those who lack empathy for others and have a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative and demanding. Narcissist energy vampires are the same, they don’t have a genuine interest in others. They charm you, leaving you powerless to fend off their influence to put them first at all costs, with the goal of massaging their ego.
Also known as martyr vampires, victim vampires target you through guilt. Usually, this type of person has remarkably low self-esteem. They believe that their suffering is mainly due to others, so instead of taking responsibility for their lot in life, they blame and emotionally pressure others. Victim vampires don’t receive enough love and acceptance from others, and this unworthiness makes them prey on your energy until you feel overly compassionate. Once you’re sucked in, you feel guilty if you don’t pay them attention and subsequently end up giving more than you can afford.
How are they doing this, you may ask. Anytime chaos, of any flavor, is spawned into someones life energy is released. An energy vampire is setting you off balance for this purpose. They revel in your weakness. If you’re naturally compassionate, you are at risk of giving too much of your energy away. So when a person is causing you to feel exhausted, irritated, stressed, or depressed, you should take a step back and consider your position.
Recognizing people’s intentions is the first step: only then can you weigh up the situation and decide whether the relationship is healthy or not. Take stock of the actions and intentions of those in your life. If a relationship is valueless, cut it off. Attending to a good friend’s or family member’s needs is a wonderful thing to do, but remember that as much as they need you, you need time to yourself, too. It’s not worth sitting around someone for hours on end only to leave tired and stressed. Know your energy limits and live according to them. Set aside time for others but leave enough for focus and attention on yourself.
Arguing with others, particularly those who have rigid beliefs, will only cost you time and energy. While it’s tempting to disagree and argue it out, recognize that for people to change, they must be willing to change first. Don’t get red-faced and exhausted debating with someone who refuses to even consider your point. You’ll leave stressed, upset and maybe even lose sleep.
Stay Calm, Don’t Reactive. Remember, energy vampires want attention; to provoke a reaction from others. Don’t rise to the bait. Remain calm and on topic, and deflect invasive and negative comments and suggestions that you don’t feel comfortable with. Remember that no one can force you to be around them. So if you find yourself on a day when you just can’t deal with this energy leech anymore, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Go surround yourself with some happy, positive people!
While energy vampires can steal your positive energy, they can’t succeed unless you allow them to affect you. However, given that most of us are generally compassionate and empathetic, we can’t always keep our distance from such people, or the circumstances they are caught up in. The best way recharge is to surround yourself with positive people whose values align with your own. Remember, you are your own guardian, but the company you keep will help you create a healthy energy space too, and you can only control your own life.